Well, I’ve done it. I’ve managed to blow yet another year of Typical Jenn’s 31 Days of Halloween before the 31 days was even up, and I was off to such a good start! My goal was to post something Halloweeny every day and then I got to day 8 and fell off. How does this happen? I guess I should be happy that I’ve gotten this far because I’ve wanted to do my 31 Days of Halloween for a while and this is the first year I’ve actually done it, or at least attempted to.
I love Halloween. I love all things horror. I love videos that show proof of the paranormal and I love hearing people’s stories about their paranormal encounters – which is why I love the YouTube channel Top 5s. I love it all. But every year it seems like Halloween becomes more and more… meh. Not to me, that’s just the overall feeling that I get. I partially blame it on being a grown up and having to do grown up things (I do not use the word “adulting” because that word is fucking stupid). When I was a kid Halloween was everywhere, you couldn’t escape it. Every advertiser got into the spirit, every commercial was Halloween themed. Now it feels like the only thing I can rely on is the SyFy network; they played A Nightmare on Elm Street marathon all day yesterday which I happily watched while working around the house. SyFy just gets me.
Yesterday my husband and I went to Lowe’s and there was Christmas shit EVERYWHERE. I mean we walked in to Christmas Snoopy flying his Christmas airplane right at us; it was a great metaphor for their attack on Halloween. (Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, I’m just not ready to get excited about it until around Thanksgiving.) And then there was the Halloween stuff, off in a sad little clearance corner. Halloween isn’t until next Tuesday and they’d already put the Halloween stuff on sale! I shouldn’t be so annoyed because it’s like this every year, but every year businesses seem to start with Christmas just a little sooner than the year before. They might as well make Christmas year round and be done with it.
And then there’s the Hallmark channel. I know, I know, my first mistake is watching that channel but hear me out: I have to sleep with the TV on and I like their night time programming, specifically The Middle. I love that show, and by the time the Golden Girls (love that show, too) comes on I’m ready to fall asleep. Well, you know what these Hallmark jerks are doing? They’re starting their Christmas movie programming next Monday. That’s right. The night before Halloween they’re going to start showing every shitty Christmas movie they’ve ever created. I don’t even know how many that is but apparently it’s enough to ruin my night time viewing until January. TILL JANUARY. For Christ’s sake, how can you possibly come up with more Christmas movie plots? Two people, maybe a kid who helps bring them together, snow, a Christmas tree. How many movies can you make out of those four things?! At a time where every movie seems to be a remake I don’t know whether I should be pissed or impressed. I’ll just stick with annoyed, I guess.
Then there’s having to do grown up things, like work and not let the house burn down. The majority of my posts are written while I’m at work, so naturally I’m infuriated when I’m interrupted by a phone call from a client at my place of employment that I currently need to pay my bills and survive. Don’t they know I’m busy?! And it’s not just work. Earlier I had to call Walgreens which then led me to have to email their corporate office. Below is the actual message I just sent them, it explains everything.
From me to Walgreens: I’m currently sitting on hold waiting to refill a prescription. That’s not what I’m writing to complain about. I’m writing to complain about the on-hold message and music. I legitimately feel like I’m about to lose my mind. First off, if I close my eyes and just listen to the on-hold music I’d swear I was sitting in a funeral home. I’ve heard elevator music that was more pleasant. And good god, is it necessary for that recording to come on every 15 seconds like a goddamn egg timer? The fact that I’m listening to this depressing on-hold music is enough to let me know that the staff is busy and will get to me when they can. I’m OK with that. I’m not OK with that recording reminding me like it’s the hearing version of Chinese water torture.
I was on hold for 11 minutes. Not a big deal, except have you any idea how many times this recording came on? I’m officially insane. Thank you.
In conclusion, ditch the funeral music, get some enjoyable tunes, and limit the recording to once every 5 minutes. You’re welcome.
You see what I’m talking about? Having to call Walgreens took me away from this post for a while (about 15 minutes but still). It’s also things like that that take me away from doing the stuff that I want to post about. Example: I’ve been wanting to post about The Town by Bentley Little, the problem is I’ve been trying to read it for almost 5 weeks. It’s only 327 pages long, and I’m still on page 17. I’m going to finish it, hopefully before Halloween because I’d like to include one more post in my 31 Days of Halloween, and also because it’s almost due back at the library and I can’t renew my checkout because I’ve already renewed it once. ~sigh~
Anyway, I may turn this into Typical Jenn’s 365 Days of Halloween and just post about horror stuff whenever I come across something awesome. Or I may take a page out of Hallmark’s book and get my shit together so I’m more prepared for next year. And I’ve already got the first post: The Town by Bentley Little.