Holy Jesus on a stick! First, if you're reading my American Horror Story posts, I thank you. But I do have to say, for Christ sake watch it. Or keep reading my posts and then watch it, either way. But watch it. We begin with 3 kids searching for the Roanoke house during the blood … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 9

This show is really starting to kill them off which makes for a good game of Who's Next? Let's start with fake-Matt and real-Shelby: they're freaking out about the real-Butcher and decide to try and escape going through the tunnel. They don't get far because the spider-like Chen's start chasing them. They head back into … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 8

I'm going to take you back, back to when worlds collide and fake-Matt and real-Matt get into a fight. Sydney is watching the madness go down from the production trailer when the new assistant, Alyssa, walks in with dinner. While Sydney is eating he misses something on the screen, but the cameraman sees it: Rory … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 7

Well, well, well, it looks as though I may have to eat my words because American Horror Story is turning itself around, and not a moment too soon because I was just about to hurl my TV through a window. We are now entering phase 2 of this saga; now that My Roanoke Nightmare (title … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 6

I don't know about the rest of you but I've about had it with Matt and Shelby and at this point I've begun cheering for the villagers, but before we pick up where we left off we're first given the answer to a question nobody was asking (or at least I wasn't): where the house … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 5

We begin this episode with Matt's one-man show of "I don't remember having sex with that woman". After an Academy Award winning performance Shelby believes him and starts to calm down. She heads to the bathroom to take a shower, opens the shower curtain and standing there, ready to attack, is the pig-man. It chases … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 4

In case you were wondering, pieces of Flora were not in her sweater. I promise. The episode began with the police (who at this point have become main characters) retrieving the sweater from the tree. Lee confirms the sweater is Flora's and the cops are completely over this family so their reaction is pretty much … Continue reading American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 3

So, did the suspense of last week's episode keep you on edge? Did you lie awake, night after night, wondering just what was going to become of Shelby? Did she escape? Did they catch her? Worry no more because here's what happened: She ran. That's right, she turned around and ran, the coward. She ran … Continue reading American Horror Story Season: Roanoke – Chapter 2